Today i didn't do anything much. It is Freddy and Rinaldi-DaHui-'s birthday. Today i watched a touching clip about parenthood at church and i think to myself that if (only if) i am becoming a parent, i would try my best to be a caring parent and friend for my kid. I dunno why, i just always wanted to be a funky parent that would try to follow what my (future) kid desires:) It's not that my parents are bad, it's just that they cannot be categorized as "funky" or "up-to-date" except maybe for certain things only. Anyway, i helped the sunday school today, it was fun as always... i like to see those innocent faces...
Back to remember yesterday, Saturday, my office had a social work at Mc Donald's. We were taking some children for lunch and gave them some gift that they really wanted. See, on that day we were trying to be "angels" for those not-so-lucky children. Far from my first expectation, the children were quite clean and adorable (well, as usual i am a person who always prepared for the worst). I was feeling akward at first, coz they didn't really knew me from the beginning, but slowly as i was getting to know them one by one my feeling just...unspoken. I can't imagine being one of them. Being an autist maybe, or being an abandoned child that has a prostitute mother and a horrible horny father. Maan! Thank you Lord that You have given me a well-being family. For me, it was not them that need to be thankful that day, it was us... it was me who need to be thankful. Thanks to them that had given us the feeling of giving, the opportunnity to be compasionate to others (i mean really really realised that our lives is better than them now, and be grateful about it), the chance to actually feel good (even though only for a while) about ourselves. I mean, giving IS better than receiving. I am just that kinda person. I think when u give something to other poeple you must not expect for the returns at any times. I just wish that someday (i can't really tell when exactly) I can afford to raise a child that needs financial support. I know it won't be much but it is the best i could do. Except praying of course.

That day also, I met someone who I think has all the qualities that I could ever want from a guy. I admire him in a way, but i think it must be a crazy thought of mine that wants him as my hubby. Well, my best friend called it "a temporary insanity"... hahaha, maybe she's right!:p Maybe it is insane to dream about him, even though it is just a slight piece of dream. Coz he is way older than me, he is settled, and very smart. I don't think a guy like him would ever want or even think a college student like me in his life. Maybe only in his wildest dream? I dunno. I have to admit that I have experienced (some) being seduced...or whatever you call it... by much older guys. But, i never responded to them becoz I know how to behave and put myself in a position where i know i should be. But now, WITHOUT having him ACTUALLY seducing me or even flirting just a little bit with me, I find myself wanting someone like him. Well, maybe not exactly like him and more like my first love... but, yea, he has everything that i ever wanted from a guy. Not ugly or too handsome, very smart (definetely smarter than me), good sense of humour, enjoy living and likes to do fun things to spark his life, open-minded, and easy to talked to (not too talkative!:D), and...he even has those cute wrinkles at the corner of his eyes. A weird criteria of guy that all my best friends had noticed (besides good teeth) from me. Hey, what's so wrong about having criterias anyway? If I would ever spend the rest my life with someone, I would definetely choose the right guy (coz there are no such thing as "Perfect" or "Wonderful" guy... i just found out today that they sell a hunk doll called "Mr. Wonderfull" in America) and he is also has the right to decide whether i am the right woman for him or not. Life is about having options. Making decisions. Taking chances. Learning fases. Dealing problems. And in the end, we should not have any regrets of what we are living. So, yea, I believe that God will find "Mr. Right" for me (of course, he will not suddenly fall from the rooftops, of course, but i must try to find him and open up my heart...which i dunno if i can do that at this moment...)
Anyway, 1.30 in the morning, I am about to type the Final Chapter of my Project (horaayy!!)and get it done. I guess tomorrow would be another unpredictable day for all of us... and hopefully we all can understand the beauty of it...