8401 Days Old And Adding Up... -___-

Wanna buy: Cosmopolitan Jan 2005
Wanna get: My ticket money back (not going to Bali)

Hehehe... I counted my age by days. Such a long period of time, don't you think? :p Hmm, I didn't expect anything fancy for this birthday. But I am grateful that I've got lots of SMS, e-cards, online messages and few present from close friends. Well, seemed that I have quite many friends who remember me... and for me it is more pleasing than having tons of presents from lottery (although, of course, I DO NOT dislike/ reject presents...^___^). Knowing that you are remembered and loved. We are a social being, a human being need to be acknowledged and need to be loved (remembering the song by Elton John called "I want love")

I want love... Just a simple kind...
I want love that wouldn't bring me down
Won't break me up, won't offense me up
That's the love I want...
I want love...

Hmm, a friend of me asked, "What do you want for presents?" And funny thing is... I didn't picture an object or two in my head (even though I knew I still want a digicam, latest notebook, a CDMA phone or travelling around the world...and they wouldn't be able to give them to me). Suddenly I just "know" what I want. I want stabillity. Yup, that is what I want in any sectors of life. In career especially. I am an ambitious person who need to be at the top someday... and I will not rest until I earn what I want:p I just can't. That's me. What else I want to be stabil?

Relationship

Fiuh. Still digging the "secrets" of a long-lasting-relationship. It's not that I want to be married or engaged right now. I don't (believe me, I don't). I just want to have a relationship that is stable and really worth to struggle for. Even though the fact now is that finding qualified men is so darn hard. It's like finding one perfect pure pearl along plenty other cheap express pearl :D
Hehehe... so, where is my soulmate? Call me idiot, but I still believe in soulmate. One that once u find you'll never let go. You are so damn lucky if you'd already found yours... ^o^

Anyways, I met my first luv last Saturday, after the Christmas celebration. He was walking around in PTC with his mum (how sweet...). Quick radar: NO girl friend beside... NO sign of girl friend around:P So, where's his sticky girl friend? Err... for more emphasize, his fiance. Well, I sms my best friend, asking her opinion should I sms him for the last time (since we once close enough) before I leave or just leave it to be a forgotten memory. She said I should sms him, just saying "hi". Should I? Hmm... could be my wrong conclusion... Could be that his fiance is just taking an intern practice outside East Java (since they are both Med students). Could be. But... what if not? what if? what if...?
One thing for sure, I once loved that guy for 8 years (or maybe even longer?). Ever thought that I could never had a crush on someone again. Not whinny, but sad. All of my friends said it was a sad story. An opportunity that just passed in front of my eyes that will not rewinded again. I dunno... I guess we'll never know...

I just know that in my eyes he is still -somehow- perfect. And my heart still beating hard.

PS. My friend Henny had just SMS me saying that she's on her way to the plane, heading to Beijing. She's gonna study design at Raffles for 1 year. All the best for you, girl! ^ o -