don't know what to write...
really dunno what to write...
just feeling driften away...and away...
more and more further from the place I used to stand on...
thinking to myself...
who am I
what am I doin'
why am I here
where should I be
who will save me from all of these crowd
First I feel like a new born baby
Almost feel like a toad who just come out from its box
Now... I just feel nothing...
Nothing at all...
Where does all these would take me?
When will it ends?
How can I survive?
When should I be the 'real' me?
I feel like faking here...
fucking faking basically everything
Get up at nights few times
Try to sleep tight but rarely able to
My bed is more than enough, yet I miss so much more...
Where is the place I should call home?
What is the ground I should stand for?
Who is someone I should look up to?
Why is everything seemed so blurry in my sight?
I haven't found a place I can called "church"
I haven't found friends I can called more than "colleagues"
I haven't found a thing I like to do most
I haven't found a little piece of shit I can worth hold on to
Hhh, just met clients. Got most things approved.
Will take voice with the TV presenter for the commercial
Should decide the characters of the voices
Wanna go home now...
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13 comments:
hangin' there, girl... this is just the beginning :) u'll be fine. i know u can. u just need time... no one push u to fit in in a week right??! everyone needs time for some changes...! muach! :-*
you sound pretty desperate. give it more time. it sucks to adjust but hopefully things will get better, pal.
iya coolz, couldn't agree more with vanie n carla...give yourself some time to adjust with the new rythm of your life. Enjoy the flow, whether it's harsh or calm coz that's life. It's always the hardest to be at the beginning...but everything has a beginning and an ending rite? So...now it's your beginning and let the process and the ending comes to you naturally. Kita dulu juga total strangers dan menjadi teman sambil berjalannya waktu, I'm sure it didn't happen in a week pal ;)
Nyantai ae Coolz, suka duka dinikmati aja. Nama e juga journey of life, mosok mau enak terus 'tul ga?! Omong2 cowok2 sana gimana? Cari pacar ae ndek sana, pasti kerasan and ga pengen balik Sby hehehe..
heyya buddy...
homesick keliatannya yah
parah juga keadaanmu di sana :)
that doesn't sound like you banget
but life is unfair, get use to it ;)
chill out a bit -- like the usual u
take some deep breath
release it
take some deep breath
release it
take some deep breath
release it
smile
relax..........
kalo perlu thinking of me juga boleh hehehe
ingatlah saat2 pertama kita berjumpa...
ketika pandangan mata kita saling bersua...
ketika tanganmu bersentuhan dengan tanganku...
dan kemudian kita saling berlari2 sambil bernyanyi2 mengitari pohon...
but wait... it couldnt be you
hahahaha
(ngomongin apa sih gw ini)
pasti gara2 ga bisa tidur neh...
it's 6 am and i havent sleep a bit
anyway,
mau tak telpon ta?
malem2 @ 11 pm?
(you kan know gw stingy lah hahaha.. tapi gpp deh kalo buat km sekale2)
sincerely yours,
you-know-who-lah the great
Thanks a bunch, friends! Should feel better by now... knowing that u guys care about mua.
I am better than yesterday, even though my beteness masih belum mendapatkan jawaban. still dunno until how long I can resist it... tapi yg aku tau aku mesti nahan2in at least sampe masa probation abis.
coz u can hardly get a boss as cool as Alto boss...
Disini hierarki kepemimpinannya panjang sih, diatas ku ada group head, di atas lagi ada Creative Director, trus diatasnya baru ada General Manager, Technical Advisor, trus Ownernya itu. Tapi si owner sih ngga campur tangan apa2 sama ide2 kita, cuman nge-approve salary doank en tau beres. Tapi jadi orang yg di posisi beginner entry emang ngga gampang... kadang ide2 yg ada ngga isa mudah tersalurkan krn mesti kecantol di bawah2 dulu (grup).
Kalo langsung hubungan ama yg atas2 sih kayaknya lebih gampang...
tapi itu namanya kan "melangkahi" -_____________-
The Owner of company sih benernya orgnya baek, she notices me gitu deh... kapan hari pas meeting juga masih ngajak ngomong personally (ga semua org dia inget).
Sering juga denger ide yg agak2 garing, tapi disampein ama org yg posisinya lebih tinggi... trus kita yg kudu nyetujuin gitu... hhh, kadang kalo udah gitu aku yg terdiaam aja... terserah sih mau bikin kayak gitu. susah juga hidup dalam topeng gitu... mana aku yg orgnya paling anti banget menjilat...
A lot of people I've seen sucking up to clients, talking sweet words, being yes-men, but saying bad words behind them afterwards...
Hopefully I can find a good church very soon. I need a good sincere community. Not a community full of basa-basi craps :/
Liliem pasti yee... karena punyanya multiply doank, akhire lek kamu post comment anonymous keluare... lek ngga gitu ngebek-ngebek'i Tag Board-ku -_______-
Mo telpon? boleehh-boleh saja ^o^
Aku masih nunggu Dina biar bisa masang Cable di kos :p
Kayaknya kalo dah itu aku bakal lebih terhibur deh.
Penghiburanku skrg cuma komik2, browsing websites di sela2 jam kerja, ama shopping sambil sight seeing. Ntar tgl 5 ato 6 mo ntn Incognito...*cihuii*
serius, baru kali ini aku kerasa shopping itu asik...
sehari kemarin pernah abis 600rb, gilee...
aku sampe kos baru ngitung, abis jadi kayak pelampiasan gitu krn di hari2 kerja ngga isa kemana2 en mesti pulang malem.
anyway, lek kantong seret, sms an ae...
aku juga lumayan terhibur ama email dari petis, eric... ^o^
thank u guys.
"Disini hierarki kepemimpinannya panjang sih, diatas ku ada group head, di atas lagi ada Creative Director, trus diatasnya baru ada General Manager, Technical Advisor, trus Ownernya itu."
berarti GM dan T Adv. setingkat ta? aku butuh ngerti struktur PH. still blank bout it :)
"Tapi si owner sih ngga campur tangan apa2 sama ide2 kita, cuman nge-approve salary doank en tau beres."
bisa gitu yah? bagus deh... bwahahahaha
"Kalo langsung hubungan ama yg atas2 sih kayaknya lebih gampang...
tapi itu namanya kan "melangkahi" -_____________-"
betul.... betul.....
nah supaya ga terkesan melangkahi,
gimana kalo kamu bikin affair sama atasan? :D
kan biar lebih menarik.... dan bikin hidup lebih hidup hehehehehehe
kalo ada anaknya bos yang cakep2 boleh deh dikenalin ke aku... aku ga keberatan koq hehehe
anyway... ngomongin about some bad side your co-workers... ga ada yang bakal km kasih tau ttg blog ini kan? kalo ada yang baca kan berabe tar hehe :p
"Liliem pasti yee... karena punyanya multiply doank, akhire lek kamu post comment anonymous keluare... lek ngga gitu ngebek-ngebek'i Tag Board-ku -_______-"
anak pintarrrr... hahahahaha
abis dikasih tau patty ne...
jadi kerasa bersalah abis doain km yang buruk2 hahahaha
"Mo telpon? boleehh-boleh saja ^o^"
miscall aku yah kalo dah malem....
biasanya gw kan u know, siboekkk.... *congkak* hahaha
sms juga boleh sih...
tapi kartu halo ku lagi di blokir gara2 belum bayar tagihan hahahahaha
sampe ditelpon customer service e tanggal 1 kemaren
aih jadi maloe ~ ^o^
ntar yah kalo udah bisa connect lagi halo nya hehehe
"sehari kemarin pernah abis 600rb, gilee..."
wah waktu km di sby koq ga sering2 traktir aku gitu hahaha
coolz.. jangan sering2 shopping
itu tak baik
lebih baik giat menabung
rajin menabung adalah ciri anak bangsa
supaya bisa mentraktir gw di kemudian hari
heuheuehuehue
yes... it's me again,
si keren
Coolz, jok ketipu ma mulut manis e Liliem. If there's anybody to blame karena kmu ga kerasan di sana ya arek elek itu lah! Dia pernah bilang ke aku klo dia bakal doa in kmu biar ga kerasan di Jkt trus balik Sby, soal nya buddiesnya pada ngilang semua and dia kesepian di Sby...udah, Valentine an ma Liliem ae Coolz, dia ya mesti bayar tiket lu ke Sby and romantic dinner di resto!
ssssttttttt....... patty ini bongkar2 ae hehehe
huahahaha...boleh boleh... paleng ngga dinner di Calvados ato Resto Nine deh... ya ngga, Tis? ^o^
Some of my colleagues have already known my blog, for here -I really don't know how- I am famous as a blog writer -____-
What if someone from my office read it? I don't really care-lah. I had written outspokenly about my previous office, right? Why shouldn't I now do the same thing? :)
Thinking of using a different secretive blog address..but what for-lah... everyone's invited and welcome to read or leave my blog anyway... ;)
Liem, tak tunggu temenan lho ya telp ne (soale tau lek kamu sodok2 medit gitu:D) huehehehe....
Oya, aku udah lumayan hapal nama-nama org di kantor, terutama org selantai soale aku biasain nginget ciri khas mereka, or greet them lek aku pas mood nyapa...fufufu... emang mood2an kok...
now that's the real shirley hueheuheu
"Liem, tak tunggu temenan lho ya telp ne (soale tau lek kamu sodok2 medit gitu:D) huehehehe...."
sengaja nih.. mo nyiksa gw yah huehuehueheue T-T
ok ok, ntar yah...
aku barusan inget kalo aku ada kartu bebas yang hampir expired... lumayan lah daripada dibuang kan bisa buat nelpon km hahahaha
hari ini aku lupa kalo mau telpon km
(emang km org e ga ngangenin sih, ga kayak aku gitu hehehe)
barusan pulang dari TP... ditraktir ima ultah ^o^
hehehe
dia jg say thanks buat greeting card mu katanya
me,
the most kerenest man in the world
salam balik. take care aja...
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