What Is This Feeling?

Sunday evening. @ the office. Listening to Jamie Cullum's These Are The Days.

Good news: Jos' motor STNK has already been found. I got 3 sms this morning telling me that ^____^ "

Not-to-good news: Still blank about TVC jingle and reference

I feel unoccupied... unsatisfied... un...happy? Hmm, could be...
I guess I'm kinda lame right now. Just complaining without taking any further actions toward everything that made me feel like now. I feel... I feel like I'm not reaching for a higher ground. Usually as someone who has a clear vision about life, I know what I am doing and I usually wanna do it right. Perfect in my own time and limit. Well, right now it seems I can't do everything right and as it should. I just feel like having a degradation. My self esteem is lower than normal, my firm belief is not that strong anymore, my standard is descending. I started to follow everybody else's opinion, just accepting what people say without really agreeing it. Feel like puppet in disguise.

Well, today at church I got a nice messages about being like children. Child liked (not childish). Pastor Dave Kenney explained more about it. Being like a child is not about being innocent (coz children are NOT innocent! Children easily lie as soon as they know how to talk), or about being humble (children are NOT humble! They are a pure narcisist and like to brag themselves to others... I guess that's human nature. A sinner species from the day they born).

But children content to receive. They always welcome every hands who gives them something, and they never "bargain" or try to pay it back. God doesn't need anything from us, His creation. So sometimes it's just ridicilous when we pray "God grant me this... grant me that... and I promise I would dedicate my life for You/ give you this...or that..." As if our giving means a lot to God! All He wants is just our willingness to accept. Just accept, without bargaining:)

Secondly, children content to be dependant on others. We, adults, are always wanna be independent... sometimes we want to independent from God also. We don't leave our burden, hopes, etc to God. We tend to handle it with our power, until we can't bear them any longer. So bottomline is we must receive the Kingdom of God the same ways a child receives things.

Hehehe... I should share sermon I got from church more often. It's good to be a religious individual. I don't mind people calling me "religious" (many people think that that nick is not funky enough...). Believe it, when the Judgement Day comes... we would crave to be sentenced as a religious person. A believer of God.

Have a nice week, friends! ^_______^