Do you realise that life is about season? Season comes, season goes... Happiness visits, yet sadness follows. Everything must come to an end, even if we refuse or try to deny it. This week, I admit and accept that meaning. I place it in my heart. Season may come and go, but the sun and the moon are always be there, right?
Ugly Friday
If I were to conclude, last Friday would be the most exhausting and unpleasant day of the month. I said things I wasn't supposed to say, I heard things I didn't need to hear, I did ridiculous things. But I am still me. Up till' today I still don't believe the concept of compatibility. Have u ever watched "Butterfly Effect"? Well, that's exactly what I mean. I started to believe it, and add up rational things in my head (which I'd neeever wanted to do before). That nite, I picked up my phone and did what I had to do: cancel the group trip and give myself a weekend break. So, adios Bandung!
Rejuvinating Saturday
God is good (but I'm sure you knew that already^^). He has NO limitation, and every single step I made that day was like an arrangement. First, to arrived at a bookstore and suddenly find this great book called "Your Best Life Now" (Joel Osteen's). I stopped for a moment, and ended up reading the whole book in 1/2 an hour. I could do fast reading, plus the book I found was only the brief summary which completed with beautiful pics and marks. I wanted to buy the book and read it in the nearest coffee shop, but the book was not in good condition (only one left)... well, I just read it anyway. Overall, it says all the confirmations I needed to hear: I have to love myself as God's unique creation and I don't have to live in order to fulfill anyone's expectation. I have to let go all the past, and move on. Happiness is a state of mind. Simple instructions, difficult application :)
Second, I got supports. My brother called me, and gave me advice about laptop. Nice. After that, several friends texted and share their updates. Some even gave encouragements. Wow, I'd never told them anything! Hahaha, funny ya... Juz when I wanted to be all alone that day, God's telling me to mingle. Some asked me out. I took the last offer^^ A good friend visited by a friend from UK and we went karaoke for two hours (kangen berat ama mic -lol-). I watched American Idol that nite, and more realised that people is about variety. All those weird contestants are genuine, and you can't blame them for being theirselves. God loves me for who I am. My good attitude will only be meaningful if it's from my heart. Again, I picked up my SE 610i, and texted some friends I felt I had hurted lately. I told them why I didn't like them/ the situation back then, and promised myself not to put blame on others. I know sorry is not enough, but it's a good start.
Misty Sunday
I decided to go to that church once again. But this time, not with my IES buddies. Picked up my phone and ask a friend when is the next service. Turn out he'll come too... Yay! So, I'm going... easily earn sit at 1/3 front. Elfa's member was one of the back singers. The worship started. They lead 2 songs (which I couldn't sing at all), and then... you know what? The worship leader said, "Ok, we're gonna learn a new song today..." and an intro was being played. The guitar melody sounded sooo familiar in my ear! The third song was "Mighty To Save"! This was the song I was supposed to sing on Saturday.
"Everyone needs compassion, love that's never failing... Let mercy falls on me..."
I had this goosebump. Continued by "In Christ Alone", I'd already bursted in tears. It was as if God wanted to tell me that no matter where I go, He is there to remind me. It was like He was giving those songs so that I could sing loud and shout to Him. I could simply hear God whispered to me, "I am here, my child. I am here just as I was there for you."
You can't run from God. Can't even hide.
After an emotional devotional time, -oh, I visited the cell group booth, but when he knew I was from IES, he said that the cell group was only for the church members who are commited to stay. Friendly he said, "I believe there are many cell groups at your place, we don't recommend you to come to ours." Hmmm... that's odd. I was just visiting there cuz I wanted to know and probably chat a bit, but somehow I feel not welcomed. Or is juz my feeling ya? Anyways, some of other churches' members come to IES cell group too. I think it's not a bad thing.- I felt hungry :D Sushi Tei would be my first destination, followed by a visit to ZARA (still same ol' stuff), Esprit (Got a vest...yay, yay!), Periplus, ak'sa'ra (bought an interesting book and read Paul Arden's finally), BreadTalk, and closed by a cup of DQ ice cream (not that satisfying, though'...). I met Winson on the way, hehehe, he missed Bandung trip as well...
Oh, well, overall, this weekend I've found myself. Really able to sit back and catching up old friends. Eat what I want, do what I want, meet who I want, respond as I like^^. I spoke not more 10 sentences, seriously. Try it sometimes! It can help you contemplate and observe more. And now I'm just gonna go back to my regular weekdays. But with better attitude -so help me God- Spread peace, friends!
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