2.07 am in the morning... mustn't sleep...
11 days to finish my final project. and it's not even 60% yet! Damn! I feel like so panic now (haha, i wonder why just now:P)
However, my mood is stable (read: GOOD) today, yesterday i preayed to God long enough to said out loud about everything i felt inside my head,
and whatever it is that kept me confused, troubled, and feeling blue lately. And I realized that God is so good to me...
He IS the best companion I would ever had... my Father in Heaven:)
So, today was okay... hmm, i went to the professional who will polish my project with their own program... I have to pay quite an amount for that...
but, yea, it's worthed. Coz i am too darn lazy to do it by myself, which i am sure i am capable of... so, yea, i chose the shortcut.
Now i actually feel good about myself (something that i haven't felt for quite a while since many things happened).
I want to graduate soon, and can't wait to do some new improvements for myself.
This Wednesday i am gonna record audio needs for my project. I will use Sound Forge, and i really...really.. hope that everything will work out fine
coz i don't want to loose my good mood again... not before my "Execution" is pass:p
I am a person who is really often influenced by mood... it's not a good thing... and I've tried to fought it... and i am still trying now day by day...
but i think need a while before i can be someone who is really 'cuek' and just go with the flow... Coz i'm not a person like that...
I am a person who like to organize things and get them exactly in my head (pictures them vividly, even arrange them in order and have paths for me to followed).
When things get out of my control i get so influenced becoz it would ruin all the "pictures" and "paths" that I've already put in my head... and i have to do
everything suddenly all over again. That is not a fun thing to do, even though in many cases i like spontanious activities and some adventures to give my life a lil' spark.
So, yea, maybe that is how i picture myself right now:) I'm not a control-freak like Monica Geller, but I like to do things by arrangements and picture them vividly.
Maybe..just maybe (i dunno) I can even say that I have a photographic memory... I always see things and imagine things in pictures.
That's why i like diagrams, graphic charts, and everything that represented in symbols/ image. I dunno if other people have this kinda brain also or not...?
For example, if you are talking to me about something it is better if u write them down or even better: draw them for me! Then my brain would capture the "picture"
and keep it for quite a long time. I am a terible person when it comes to memorizing dates of plans, stuff to bring, appointments to make... coz i only remember
most important thing first, put it in my brain, and then put the other less important things in. But i'm good with numbers, alphabets, and names of places or historical events.
Coz i always try to "keep track" everything that happened in my life and had built me to become the person i am today. Memories are very meaningful for me...
Memories of my first reading (believe it or not... it was a Bible), my first stuff, my first grade year, my first love (that even though had hurted me for years but left a beautiful image of the person i've ever loved),
my first -so- redicilous kissed, my first working experience (i'm grateful that i've had very open-minded employers), my first surf experience (being swept hard by double waves and almost drown), my first romantic walk on the beach, my first... everything!
Everything that takes first place in my life is always memorable and unique:)
And after living for over 20 years i could prolly say that i am unique and my life is such a unique life... such a blessing from God...
Some of my friends said that my life sometimes is like a novel, a living roman:D
Well, i guess it's true. I cannot imagine what would i become in 2 or even one year from now... everything's changing.
My life is hectic... chaos sometimes... troubled...full of sorrows and confusions... but i can say right now that i am actually enjoying it.
I wouldn't want to be anyone else but me if reincarnation do happen for all of us (which, again, i'm sure it don't... coz the Holy Bible never specifically said so).

Enjoy your life today as if you will not live it tomorrow...