A friend who is in her mid 30s told me that she finally decides to settle down. A nice Catholic boy who is slightly younger than her had asked her hands in marriage. And she started giving advice on how to settle down with someone. You know what? Being married to someone for the rest of your life is scary; here I am, single and free, able to do whatever I want and go wherever I want and I'm thinking about several guys at once. I can pick and choose, because at this stage of life I look more confident and more attractive than ever.
10 years ago, I wouldn't even admit that I am attractive, or that I deserve better guys. Instead, I was experimenting with my feelings. I met some losers who ended up being nobody and who I accepted out of curiousity.
Last Christmas, someone sent me a long note -or should I say, an eye-opening letter- during a secret angel event. The person wrote, "Shirley, I want you to say this out loud, the whole thing. First, I am smart, I am good looking, I am highly eligible, I am down to earth, I am strong, I am multi-talented, and I am powerful..." and the rest followed with a joke. I know the writer was either a lady who knows me so well (like my mentor) or a guy who knows me well but hesitant to make a move becuz of something. I was hoping it to be the second one, although it was a long shot. At least that gives me the confidence to know that someone does value me.
As years go by, I learned that I can be older but also be wiser, sexier, and happier. I learned how to fill my bucket and how to get the most out of life. I learned to find more things that I love about myself everytime I look at the mirror (well, also cuz I can buy more expensive pampering products to indulge myself). I learned to love genuine gentlemen who accept me for who I am, not who I pretend to be. I started to understand why old people used to say that it is better to marry your best friend, than the hottest guy in town. Well, except if the hottest guy in town is your best friend :p I spend last weekend with two of my good friends. We entertained ourselves by dining, listening to music and talked about a lot of things including about girls. I like one of them, but I know the one that likes me is the other one. Not bad looking, but I just don't feel the connection.
Meanwhile, this one guy that I've known for years is just being passive. We'll probably die as friends, unless I admit to him about my growing affection. If I do it now, he'll prob be freaked out and shut me out of his life for good.
So, imagine if a woman like me could develop different affections for some guys, what about a highly eligible bachelor who could have many attractive girls throwing themselves at him? The world is unfairly dominated my female population, you know :) In Istanbul, I got hit on wherever I go; in the middle of the street, in the train, in the park, in a restaurant.. I'm not kidding, it was exhausting. That doesn't say anything except that my face was the niche that they're looking for. But they like me for the superficial look that I reflect.. Same like when a guy praised my body after we made out and said, "You have a great body; you should wear more revealing clothes." When I heard that, an alarm turned on inside my head, telling me that it is not the guy you wanna spend the rest of your life with. It is good to have someone praising your physical appearance, but it is much more comforting to have someone acknowledging your true potentials and missing your voice, even if it's just a few seconds of phone call.
Last Christmas, someone sent me a long note -or should I say, an eye-opening letter- during a secret angel event. The person wrote, "Shirley, I want you to say this out loud, the whole thing. First, I am smart, I am good looking, I am highly eligible, I am down to earth, I am strong, I am multi-talented, and I am powerful..." and the rest followed with a joke. I know the writer was either a lady who knows me so well (like my mentor) or a guy who knows me well but hesitant to make a move becuz of something. I was hoping it to be the second one, although it was a long shot. At least that gives me the confidence to know that someone does value me.
As years go by, I learned that I can be older but also be wiser, sexier, and happier. I learned how to fill my bucket and how to get the most out of life. I learned to find more things that I love about myself everytime I look at the mirror (well, also cuz I can buy more expensive pampering products to indulge myself). I learned to love genuine gentlemen who accept me for who I am, not who I pretend to be. I started to understand why old people used to say that it is better to marry your best friend, than the hottest guy in town. Well, except if the hottest guy in town is your best friend :p I spend last weekend with two of my good friends. We entertained ourselves by dining, listening to music and talked about a lot of things including about girls. I like one of them, but I know the one that likes me is the other one. Not bad looking, but I just don't feel the connection.
Meanwhile, this one guy that I've known for years is just being passive. We'll probably die as friends, unless I admit to him about my growing affection. If I do it now, he'll prob be freaked out and shut me out of his life for good.
So, imagine if a woman like me could develop different affections for some guys, what about a highly eligible bachelor who could have many attractive girls throwing themselves at him? The world is unfairly dominated my female population, you know :) In Istanbul, I got hit on wherever I go; in the middle of the street, in the train, in the park, in a restaurant.. I'm not kidding, it was exhausting. That doesn't say anything except that my face was the niche that they're looking for. But they like me for the superficial look that I reflect.. Same like when a guy praised my body after we made out and said, "You have a great body; you should wear more revealing clothes." When I heard that, an alarm turned on inside my head, telling me that it is not the guy you wanna spend the rest of your life with. It is good to have someone praising your physical appearance, but it is much more comforting to have someone acknowledging your true potentials and missing your voice, even if it's just a few seconds of phone call.
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